SINGAPORE: A man has found himself in an unexpected dispute after his ex-fiancée insisted he reimburse her S$15,000 in cash for the CPF downpayment she lost when their BTO application was cancelled.

Hoping to find some guidance, he posted on the r/asksg subreddit on Tuesday (Apr 28). 

In his post, he explained that he had been in a relationship with his ex-fiancée for five years before they called off their wedding plans. He also noted that he had already returned her share of the wedding banquet and vendor expenses.

Matters, however, became complicated when his ex-fiancée said she expected him to refund her for the BTO downpayment as well.

“When it comes to the forfeit for the BTO, she felt that I am responsible to pay her back in cash. Approximately S$15k from the loss from CPF. Do you think I should be paying her back the money?” he asked others.

The man said they both paid “50/50 for the BTO deposit.”

“Legally, I am not obliged to pay her anything, but she and her family are determined to have the money back and have been pursuing me constantly on this issue. This led to a number of harassment messages from them. Is it a must to pay her back? I just don’t find it justifiable to pay her back entirely. I have borne a substantial amount of money with the loss of the wedding and now another round for the CPF money,” he continued. “I have already paid her back the banquet/vendor cost even before I was able to get a refund from the shops, and now they are coming for more.”

The man also clarified that neither party had been unfaithful during the relationship. The decision to call off the wedding, he said, was his, after he concluded that an unresolved “internal problem” between them would eventually lead to divorce.

“I initiated the cancellation…It was a last-minute decision to back off,” he said. “I woke up from it.”

“She’s just using this to her advantage.”

The post quickly gained traction on the forum, with many Singaporeans jumping in to share their thoughts on the issue.

One individual wrote that the post author should not give in to the demand because it “was a mutual loss,” adding, “Just ignore them and block if necessary.”

Another user said, “Pay her back in cash? At the end of the day, it was a 50/50 CPF payment. If you have to pay her back in cash for her share, why not also claim it back from her in cash as well? Lastly, it’s CPF, not cash. There is no such thing as converting CPF payments to cash. She’s just using this to her advantage.”

A third commented, “If you really don’t have money, then no point, bro. You already did good by paying her share for the wedding banquet. I don’t think you need to pay for her CPF too.”

Several others, however, disagreed and said that he should at least compensate her in some way since he “initiated” the cancellation.

“You’re the cause of the breakup,” one user argued. “You ‘foresaw’ an issue and initiated it. Instead of resolving the issue, you decided on the breakup. You’re the reason for the monetary loss.”

Another added, “My 2 cents would be, although you are very gentlemanly and gave back the wedding expenses that she forked out already, CPF-wise it does sound slightly unfair to her because of how last-minute your cancellation of BTO comes in.” 

“Paying back the entire S$15k can be too much of a burden and might even place you in debt. Maybe offer to pay back 50%? Generally, anywhere from 30 to 70%, whichever you feel comfortable enough with.”

In other news, a Singaporean took to Reddit to open up about how being laid off has deeply affected the way they see themselves.

In their post, they shared that they have been carrying a persistent sense of being “useless,” describing it as a feeling that refuses to go away, no matter how hard they try to stay occupied or push forward.

Read more: Laid-off Singaporean says he feels ‘useless’ as relentless job search yields no results

This article (Man says ex-fiancée demanded S$15k after BTO cancellation: ‘She wants the downpayment back’) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: A domestic helper took to social media to air her grievances over a new employer, claiming she was made to sleep on a yoga mat, not paid for several days of work, and later blocked when she tried to follow up.

According to the helper, she had been working in Singapore since 2008 and had just completed her contract with a previous Indian employer, whom she said was “very kind and good.”

After her employer relocated overseas, she began searching for a new job and was referred to a direct employer by a friend.

The new employer, a British-Indian family who had recently moved to Singapore, asked her to start work on April 5, even though her previous employer had only officially released her on March 31.

She claimed that from her first day, she already felt “uncomfortable but chose to continue working.” She alleged that she was given a very small room and had to sleep on a yoga mat.

“I was okay with that because they are new in Singapore,” she said, adding that she tried to be understanding despite the conditions. 

However, problems soon surfaced regarding her work permit. “I was working for them for a few days [when] my previous employer texted me why my work permit was still under her name.”

When she raised this with her new employer, she was told that the paperwork would be processed. But after checking later on her own, she found that nothing had been done. 

The helper noted that under Singapore regulations, domestic workers are not allowed to start work with a new employer until their work permit transfer is officially approved.

Concerned about the situation, she decided to leave after working for four days.

She further alleged that the employer did not pay her for the four days she had worked and subsequently blocked her from contacting them.

The helper said she has since found a new employer but expressed frustration over the incident, adding that she hopes action will be taken against such practices.

“Wish God would punish that employer in Upper Thomson. The British-Indian family just moved to Singapore from the Philippines. I feel very bad about them, such a very not good heart.”

“Fight for your right.”

In the comments section, many netizens urged her to report the matter to the Ministry of Manpower.

One commenter, identifying as an employer, said, “I support you reporting them to MOM ASAP. They have money to stay in Upper Thomson but no money to pay a helper?” 

Another encouraged her to stand up for her rights, stating, “You can report them to MOM. Fight for your right. Or else that kind of employer will abuse more helpers more. Don’t be afraid.”

A third added, “If you have worked for them, they should pay you for the working days. For sleeping arrangements, we should be thankful that we have even had a private, small room unless the employer is very rich to stay in a big house, as Singapore houses are small and expensive,” a third added.

Direct transfers

According to the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), new employers must coordinate with the current employer to arrange the direct transfer of a helper.

They need to confirm that the helper has completed her required six-month medical examination and that her work permit remains valid for more than 30 days.

They must also submit a request for the current employer’s consent for the transfer via MOM’s FDW eService, apply for the helper’s work permit, complete the steps indicated in the in-principle approval (IPA), purchase a security bond, medical insurance, and personal accident insurance, and ensure that they sign the declaration form together with the helper.

Finally, on the agreed transfer date, new employers must have the new work permit issued, upload the signed declaration form via the eService, and print the temporary work permit.

They must then hand over the temporary work permit to the helper so she can start working.

Read also: Maid allegedly survives on limited meals while working from 5 am to 9:30 pm daily

This article (Maid says she was made to sleep on yoga mat, unpaid for 4 days, then blocked by employer) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: It’s no secret that many job seekers today have to submit well over a hundred applications to secure a role, but in a shocking Reddit post, a Singaporean marketing professional revealed that she has hit burnout after sending more than 800 applications over the past four months, only to land three interviews.

While some might assume her applications are being filtered out because of AI, she believes something else may be affecting her chances. She pointed in particular to the overlap between her work experience and her studies.

“My full-time work overlaps almost entirely with my degree timeline,” she wrote. “I’ve been told that this could raise red flags for recruiters or ATS (Applicant Tracking System), potentially making it seem like I’m misrepresenting my experience or that my roles weren’t truly full-time.”

She explained that she pursued her bachelor’s degree from January 2023 to December 2025. During that time, she also held two full-time roles, the first from August 2022 to October 2023 and the second from December 2023 to October 2024.

She eventually left her second job to focus on her studies. “I stopped working from late 2024 through 2025 to focus entirely on completing my degree. Balancing full-time work and studies simultaneously led to significant burnout, so I made the decision to prioritise finishing my education properly,” she said.

Now, she finds herself in a difficult position. She wants to highlight both her academic qualifications and her professional experience, but is concerned that the overlap may be hurting her chances.

To deal with this, she’s considering making some tweaks to her resume. “[I’m thinking]of adding ‘part-time’ next to my degree, keeping the degree title unchanged, but including a bullet point explaining I worked full-time concurrently.”

She also plans to “mention this context briefly in her professional summary” to clear out any misunderstandings.

“My intention was always to position this as a strength,” she added. “I saw working full-time while studying as a sign of discipline and resilience, but I’m starting to wonder if it may be creating confusion instead.”

“Mass sending of applications is not going to yield good results.”

In the comments, an HR professional chimed in, saying that they weren’t surprised by the jobseeker’s application-to-interview ratio, as the “job market for marketing has been really competitive for the past 1–2 years.”

They went on to share a few suggestions on how she can improve her odds of getting an interview.

They said, “Seeing you have just 2-3 years of work experience, keep your resume to just 1 page. Feel free to send me your resume if you would like, or you can have AI review your resume (just omit sensitive data).”

“On your job scope, keep it in point form and don’t make it 2 lines per point and end up having a cluttered resume. Font size shouldn’t be too small. I received a size 6 font resume before, and I just brushed it off because the whole resume is just a cluttered mess. Good luck!”

Another user, who said they work as a recruiter, suggested that companies might be rejecting her applications because she spent a relatively short time in her first two roles.

They explained, “You might have painted yourself into a corner there. The first thing on my mind as a recruiter is will this ‘fler chut’ pattern happen again if we hire? The best you can do is exclude the second job or call it part-time. Just tell them you wanted to work the first job for a full year and tendered at the 1-year mark with a 30-day notice.”

A third user also cautioned her against sending out a huge number of generic job applications just to try her luck at landing an interview, saying this kind of approach, often called the ‘spray and pray’ method, rarely works and can actually hurt her chances instead of helping.

They explained, “I find it hard to imagine any adaptation of your application to show you understand each company and role you were applying to, since there were 800 applications. Mass sending of applications is not going to yield good results.”

They added, “Have you written to companies unsolicited? Go out to network. Go to events. Meet people and put yourself out there. Tell everyone you know you are looking for a job. If I were in your position… I would write unsolicited to companies or people I love to work for and offer my services. Tell them you are willing to accept any opportunity just because you really want to work for them.”

In other news, a commuter in her 20s has vented online after an elderly woman allegedly confronted her for sitting in a reserved seat and repeatedly insisted it was “for seniors only.”

Posting on the r/SMRTRabak forum on Friday (April 24), the commuter said she had just finished a shift that left her “physically and mentally” drained.

Read more: ‘This seat is for seniors only’: Woman says she was confronted over reserved seat in MRT

This article (Marketing professional sends 800+ job applications in 4 months, gets only 3 interviews and hits burnout) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: Watching a parent slowly lose their sense of purpose after being out of work for a long time is never easy. It’s heartbreaking, to say the least.

Recently, a Singaporean who seems to be running out of options turned to social media to ask how they might help their father get back on his feet and find work again.

In a post on the r/asksg forum, the writer shared that their father, who is turning 50 this year, has been unemployed for about two years and has had little success securing even interviews.

They suggested that his age, along with the current hiring climate, may be working against him despite his years of experience.

According to the post, the father previously held “generalist roles in the government sector” at the deputy director level, with a background spanning “operations, policy work, and managing teams and projects.”

Currently, the family is trying to explore what realistic paths are still available to him at this stage of his career.

“We’re trying to explore what options he might still have at this stage. Would roles like contract work, consulting, or moving to adjacent sectors be more realistic?” they asked

“He’s a bit hesitant about switching industries since he’s been in the public sector for a long time, but we’re open to ideas.”

“Find contractual-based project management roles.”

In the comments, one Singaporean Redditor said, “Mid-career is rough now even for good people, man. I’ve seen ex-director-level folks do contract ops or project roles just to get back in. Look at temp contracts, government stat boards, or consulting gigs via agencies. Manage expectations on pay and level, too. Age bias is real, and hiring is slow; stuff that took a month now drags for a year. Job hunting now is just pain.”

Another user who said they got retrenched at ages 39 and 61 wrote: “There are opportunities out there. He needs to leverage his contacts, go through WSG, and find an appropriate headhunter/recruiter. Don’t stop looking. I am still working now as a C-level.”

A third commented, “From what I’ve been observing recently, it seems like the majority of the government jobs are being converted to a contractual basis rather than permanent full-time. Maybe you can ask your dad to try and find contract-based project management roles?”

A fourth added, “This is my personal suggestion—work as a consultant to some established SMEs. His skill sets of policy, operational and managing teams and projects could be deployed to manage SMEs that have reached a sizable size who are looking to formalise and modernise their organisation.”

In other news, a 29-year-old woman turned to Reddit to ask if she was “overreacting” for wanting a divorce after feeling that her marriage had slowly fallen apart.

Posting on the r/asksg forum on Sunday (Mar 19), she shared that she and her husband dated for three years and have been married for two.

Read more: ‘Just like housemates’: Wife questions divorce after feeling neglected in marriage

This article (‘He’s been unemployed for 2 years’: Singaporean seeks advice for father struggling to get interviews at age 50) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: People rarely quit on impulse. Most just tough it out, deal with the stress, and tell themselves it’ll get better… until something finally pushes them over the edge.

In a Reddit thread, Singaporeans opened up about the exact moment they realised they were done for good.

The discussion began after one user asked, “What was the ‘final straw’ that made you quit your job without a backup plan?”

Small salary bump

One former employee shared that a minimal salary increase was the final trigger that pushed them to resign.

“When I got a S$4 increment back in 2003 as an associate engineer, another engineer got only S$12. I quit immediately the next day.”

Insensitive boss

Another person shared a frightening experience involving their boss, who ignored a serious health condition.

“My boss pressured me to eat seafood, which I am deathly allergic to, and then proceeded to call me weak and a picky eater. This was the final straw after daily berating from him.”

Unfair pay

One individual said they realised they were being underpaid compared to a colleague doing the same role.

“When my colleague and I were performing the same role, she was earning S$4,000 (8+ years with a diploma), while I was paid S$3,600 (5 1/2 years with the company when I quit and pursuing a part-time master’s degree in Big 3).”

They added that the disparity became harder to accept when workloads were not evenly shared.

“Day to day, she contributed very little and was even allowed to work from home for three months due to family issues. I understand having empathy, but it became too much. I also have family issues. Meanwhile, I was expected to be physically present in the office.”

Severe burnout 

For another worker, the turning point came from recognising their own exhaustion.

“I was frustrated for a few months already due to burnout. Then, all in one day:  Watching YouTube videos about ‘symptoms of burnout’ in the office. Realising I was experiencing every single one of them. Taking three hours to complete one task that used to take half an hour. And then hearing your director niam you the entire afternoon.”

That combination pushed them past their breaking point. By that night, they had written their resignation letter and sent it.

Denied time off 

One employee said they were refused even half a day of remote work to care for a sick family member.

“I was denied HALF a day of work-from-home (WFH) to take care of my sick grandma. My boss, who rejected it, works remotely, and her boss WFH a few times a month for various reasons, like a repairman coming to fix the fridge, expecting a delivery so she must be home to receive it, etc.”

Difficult management style 

Another person described working under a manager who made their daily life unbearable.

“My last audit manager was literally driving me out of my mind. He [would] yell at me if I was late just by a few hours…he kept complaining about my work, finding fault with it constantly. Review points only got longer, and I was being scolded on age-old problems. He had me beg him for tips on how to clear his review points. He claimed I couldn’t be trusted with anything, my attitude was poor, etc.”

Over time, the constant criticism began to affect their mental health. “It got so bad that my family found me in the toilet, shouting and swearing at my own reflection. That was when I was forced to quit.”

Biased evaluation 

One worker said they realised their boss was not evaluating ideas fairly.

“When my boss disagreed with my plan, I asked my subordinate to present [the same idea] using different wording. [Suddenly], the boss praised it.”

Small rewards

Another employee said years of effort went unrecognised despite delivering major results.

“My boss is a micromanager who, on one hand, [talks about] ‘creative freedom’ but then the only opinion he listens to is his own.”

“He will say one thing but mean another, and for years I’ve been bringing in projects, and one year I brought in the biggest project in terms of revenue and singlehandedly won us the account. All I got was a 1.5x 13-month bonus. Meanwhile, no promotion or increment for 4 years.”

Read also: Singapore mum of three says she paid for the family for 20 years while husband spent on pets

This article (Singaporeans share the ‘final straw’ that made them quit their job without a backup plan) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: Is tipping in coins now considered rude? That is the question one FoodPanda customer raised online after an unexpected reaction from their delivery rider left them second-guessing their gesture.

On Wednesday (Apr 22), the customer posted on the r/askSingapore forum, sharing that they had a hectic day packed with back-to-back meetings and were “absolutely starving”, so they decided to order food through the app instead of stepping out.

“I just could not step away from my desk,” they recalled, adding that the pick-up point was “two buildings down.”

When the food arrived quickly, the customer said they wanted to show appreciation to the rider. Since they had some spare S$1 coins, they decided to hand over S$4 in coins as a small tip.

However, the situation took an awkward turn when the rider allegedly returned the coins and told them he “wasn’t a beggar.”

The customer noted that the rider was not “outright rude“ but was clearly “offended“ by the gesture.

Confused by the reaction, they asked the online community, “Was I rude to give my Foodpanda rider coins? Was I in the wrong or unknowingly being offensive?”

“Coins struck his ego.”

In the comments, most Singaporean Redditors were quick to reassure the customer that they had done nothing wrong and that tipping in coins, especially S$1 coins, is generally not considered rude.

One commenter described the rider as “a weird chap,” adding, “If you gave him like 10, 20, or 50 cents, then I can understand, but a S$1 coin is ok. It can come in useful.”

Another chimed in, saying they would have gladly accepted the tip without hesitation if they were in the rider’s position.

A third pointed out that turning down S$4 seemed excessive. “Rejecting S$4 is crazy, I’ve given riders S$1 tips or a packet drink, and they were always grateful.”

Others felt the issue had less to do with etiquette and more to do with personal pride.

One user shared, “Bro, I did Panda before, and even if I got a 1-dollar tip, I’d thank the person and could go buy a drink at 7/11. This person has an ego problem, sia.”

Another wrote, “Coins struck his ego, where he perceived coins were for beggars only. Ideally, he can choose not to receive, but he chose to defend his fragile ego. So, don’t take this to your heart; it’s kind of common, actually.”

A third explained, “It depends on some people, I suppose. I’ve worked with someone who visibly will get upset if they get small change back. When I asked why, they say coins are like for old people and vending machines, which is weird.”

Meanwhile, several users encouraged the customer not to dwell too much on the incident and to continue showing appreciation to delivery riders in whatever way they can.

One individual quipped, “Very sorry, that rider is of higher status than all of us. Please, I would gladly and humbly accept the 4x S$1 coin.”

In other news, a Singaporean woman recently shared online that her boyfriend often gets “annoyed” whenever she asks him to help with small things.

In her post, she explained that her boyfriend gets “irritated” whenever she asks to return their plates or collect their food in hawker centres because he thinks people “should be independent in returning these themselves,” or that he feels there should at least be a “fair exchange” between both parties.

Read more: ‘My BF wants ‘fair exchange’ for every small act of help’ — Woman asks, ‘Is this mindset normal for SG men?’

This article (‘Is tipping S$4 in coins rude?’ Customer’s post about Foodpanda delivery sparks discussion) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: A commuter in her 20s has vented online after an elderly woman allegedly confronted her for sitting in a reserved seat and repeatedly insisted it was “for seniors only.”

Posting on the r/SMRTRabak forum on Friday (April 24), the commuter said she had just finished a shift that left her “physically and mentally” drained. She added that she had gone more than eight hours without food, water, or even a bathroom break, and shared that she has a “heart condition” that makes long days especially difficult.

According to her account, she boarded the train at Botanic Gardens station and took an empty reserved seat, hoping to rest and catch a short nap. However, she said an elderly woman approached her almost immediately.

“She swooped in, tapped my shoulder, and repeatedly said, ‘This seat is for seniors only.’ She kept pointing at the sticker even after she sat down and kept talking as if her mother bought her birthright to the seat,” the commuter said.

Too drained to argue, she stayed silent and gave up the seat, adding that she did not mention her medical condition, as she did not want to “attract attention.”

“I was tired and I just wanted to zone out. This seat is not only for seniors,” she said.

“I wish you had continued sitting for your health’s sake.”

In the comments, one Singaporean Redditor argued that the commuter was at fault for not informing the elderly woman about her condition. They said that she should not have gotten up if she was going to complain afterwards.

“You got up, and now you’re complaining. And took a photo and ranted. You could’ve chosen not to get up at all.”

Another user wrote that it was “possible” the elderly woman was just as exhausted as she was.

“How about the possibility that maybe this woman also woke up at 5 a.m. and is as exhausted as you are? Have you ruled out the possibility that she, too, has an invisible disability?” they said. “Chill, just chill. If that woman is very entitled, it’s on her. If she really is unwell, then it’s her having a struggle as much as yours. You already gave her the seat; try not to let yourself stew and stress over it.”

A third commented, “Am I to understand that your younger self does not understand that an elder version of you has had your day many more times over? If you’re tired at 20, imagine 60 or more.”

A fourth added, “Unpopular opinion: all the seats are reserved for the elderly. Whether the old person is rude, entitled, or curses you out doesn’t negate the fact that younger people should be offering their seat up.”

Others, however, sided with the commuter, saying that some elderly people are becoming too entitled nowadays.

One user remarked, “A lot of the older generation is like that; they don’t see people with invisible disabilities. Most of them are entitled, thinking the reserved seats are for them and them only.”

Another said, “The moment someone tells you, ‘This seat is for seniors only,’ the correct course of action is to simply ignore that person.”

A third commented, “You paid the fare equally like anyone else. You’re entitled to seats on the train. I wish you had continued sitting for your health’s sake. If it makes you feel better, good karma will find you; give it some time.”

In other news, an early childhood educator took to Reddit to share their frustration over a strict new workplace rule that requires staff to surrender their personal devices during working hours.

In a post on the r/singaporejobs forum, the educator said they have been in the field for about five to six years and have never encountered a policy this restrictive before.

Read more: ‘We have to surrender our phones at work’: Early childhood educator shocked by strict new policy

This article (‘This seat is for seniors only’: Woman says she was confronted over reserved seat in MRT) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: Getting laid off may have become increasingly normalised in today’s job market, but that does not make the experience any less painful for those affected.

Recently, a Singaporean took to Reddit to open up about how being laid off has deeply affected the way they see themselves.

In their post, they shared that they have been carrying a persistent sense of being “useless,” describing it as a feeling that refuses to go away no matter how hard they try to stay occupied or push forward.

The Singaporean said they have been unemployed for a few months now, and while they have been consistently sending out applications and going for interviews, they still have not managed to land a job.

“An inner voice keeps telling me that the problem is me. That I’m never getting a job because I’m not good enough,” they wrote, adding that it’s been especially tough seeing others around them move on and land new roles. “My partner thinks it’s because their roles are not as niche as mine.”

In an effort to keep themselves grounded, they said they have been trying to build structure into their days. This includes continuing job applications, going to the gym, and shifting towards more intentional, role-specific applications instead of mass applying. They have also been meeting friends and professional contacts over coffee.

“This is what I have done so far, [but] at the end of the day, especially before I sleep, these negative thoughts creep in.”

Realising they had run out of ways to manage things on their own, they eventually reached out to others for advice, asking, “Fellow job hunters, how do you cope?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just insanely hard to get hired now.”

The Singaporean’s post sparked a wave of responses from Reddit users who had also struggled with despair after being laid off.

One said, “I’m in the same boat as you. My job scope is quite niche, and I’ve been jobless due to a company-wide layoff last November. I feel the same despair—mainly because I’ve 2 young kids and a mortgage to pay off.”

“My wife has also quit her job to take care of our 2nd kid while I try to find work. I got a decent severance but the uncertainty in not knowing when I’m getting a new job and my wife quitting makes me worry. I try to distract myself with gym and caring for my daughter during the day while my wife serves her notice.”

Another shared, “I went through the same after getting laid off last year; that voice in your head is a liar. What helped me was treating the job search like a part-time gig and giving myself permission to exist outside work. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just insanely hard to get hired now.”

A third commented, “This happened to me too. Volunteering made me feel like I was contributing something every day and offering myself in service to others. It was a big confidence boost, and I made a lot of friends. I even ended up finding work through one of the connections I made.”

A fourth user added, “Hey bro. I got the same feeling as you before. I tried to keep myself occupied with the SkillsFuture courses while applying for jobs.”

In other news, a woman who has been married for 20 years confessed on social media that her husband has “never contributed financially to the household” and instead spends his money on pets such as “hamster cages, parrots, fish, and dogs.”

In an anonymous post on the NUSWhispers Facebook page, she said she married him “for love” and truly believed they “would build a life together.”

Read more: Singapore mum of three says she paid for the family for 20 years while husband spent on pets

This article (Laid-off Singaporean says he feels ‘useless’ as relentless job search yields no results) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: One woman is starting to feel anxious about the future of her marriage, as she and her husband are still living apart a year after their wedding.

She shared on the r/askSingapore forum on Saturday (April 25) that she only stays over at her husband’s place “one to two times a week.”

She explained that her husband currently co-owns a four-room HDB flat with his mother, which was purchased before COVID-19 and is still being paid off using his CPF.

According to her, selling the flat or removing her husband’s name is not a realistic option, as his mother would not be able to manage the mortgage on her own. His mother earns about S$1,500 a month and is still working full-time.

On top of that, his mother has long struggled with depression and is on long-term medication. “Her lifelong depression makes it hard for her to live alone because at present she already feels lonely even with people in the home.”

At the same time, the woman admitted she is also finding it hard to leave her own home. 

“I’m a single child; my parents are old but healthy. I’ve been here most of my life, and it’s hard to move out of a place I feel most comfortable in, even if it’s with my husband. His mom’s a fuss-free woman, but her depression sometimes affects me.” 

“My husband is ok with our current living situation, but of course, we both want to have our own place in the future.”

She also revealed that she has her own history with depression, having been on medication for five years before stopping three years ago.

Ending her post, the woman asked others for advice, saying, “What are our options? Please help. Our total income is around S$9k after CPF.”

“Choose what’s sustainable for both of you.”

In the comments, one Singaporean Redditor said that their marriage might not survive. 

They pointed out, “Problems are—you don’t want to live with his mother. He can’t leave his mother due to her depression. You are comfortable living with your parents as the only child. It is not a housing problem. It is an attachment problem for both of you with your parents. You both can’t prioritise each other and are not ready to move to the next chapter of marriage.”

Another suggested a solution, writing, “How about getting the mum to downgrade and apply for a 2-room flexi flat, and you guys can also try for BTO/resale in the same estate as a long-term plan so it’s easy to pop over often while still having your own place.”

A third user advised, “Rent out the master bedroom in the husband’s house to a stranger. Take that money and top it up and rent a small HDB unit near your husband’s house. Husband’s mother will have a roof over her head and has a tenant that she can talk to.”

A fourth added, “If living there affects your mental health, don’t force it. Some options: continue your current arrangement for now, gradually increase stays and see how you cope, or work towards your own place long-term while your husband supports his mum. There’s no one “correct” setup—choose what’s sustainable for both of you.”

In other news, a Singapore-based employee has shared online that they are now the “only survivor” of their regional team after a series of layoffs and offshoring decisions wiped out the rest of the local office, raising concerns that their own role may be at risk next.

“I am the only one left in Singapore after layoffs,” they wrote on the r/singaporejobs forum on Tuesday (April 20).  “The rest of the department has been offshored. They have kept me, as I am still leading some important projects in the region.”

Read more: ‘They moved everything overseas’: Local employee, now the only one left in SG, fears being laid off

This article (‘Husband co-owns flat with mum’: Woman says living together not possible, asks for advice) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: Questions over whether children owe their parents financial transparency have resurfaced after a 28-year-old woman said her decision to withhold her salary left her parents “upset.”

Writing on the r/asksg forum, she shared that her parents had long made a habit of asking about her pay whenever she started a new job. Wanting to be a respectful daughter, she would typically comply without much hesitation.

Over time, however, she began to feel that this openness was working against her.

Once her salary was disclosed, it quickly became a reference point for expectations, from how much she should be contributing at home to what expenses she ought to take on.

She said she was initially willing to go along with this arrangement, but things became uncomfortable when comparisons entered the picture. According to her, her parents began measuring her against others and making remarks about how she chose to spend her money.

That, she said, was when she decided to draw a boundary.

“It’s not that I want to be disrespectful, but this time I chose not to disclose my salary, and they seemed quite upset about it, which has been bothering me,” she said.

“They often say things like, ‘Why can’t we know? We’re your parents,’ or ‘What is there to hide?…which makes me feel quite pressured.”

Although she admitted to feeling “guilty” for withholding the information, she also said she does not regret it. “I want to manage expectations and avoid constant comparisons with my siblings or relatives. Am I doing the right thing ..?”

“I would say it’s up to you and it’s ok not to.”

In the comments, several Singaporean Redditors reassured the woman that she had made the right decision and that she should not feel guilty for choosing not to disclose her salary.

“You’re an adult now, so you should not feel guilty for keeping your salary to yourself. They will and should understand over time,” one user said.

“Au contraire, they are the ones being disrespectful. You are not a child. Your self-worth and respect should not be calculated based on your salary. Your salary is not for them to brag and compare against their other friends’ children,” another shared.

“Based on your description, I would say it’s up to you, and it’s ok not to, because they seem to be playing the awful comparison game and making you feel bad. But if they ask out of genuine concern and goodwill, then it’s ok,” a third added.

Others, however, suggested she could simply give a lower figure instead of refusing outright.

“Just under declare; it saves you the trouble,” one wrote. 

“Even if you disclose, you do not need to give the actual number,” another commented.

In other news, a man is questioning his girlfriend’s true intentions after discovering that she expects him to pay for their future home and fully support their lifestyle while keeping her own salary. 

The 30-year-old sought advice on the r/asksg forum on Saturday (April 18). In his post, he shared that he has been dating his 26-year-old girlfriend from Malaysia for about a year. He described her as attractive by both “Singaporean and Malaysian standards,” and said that at the start of the relationship, she came across as “thoughtful and sweet.”

Read more: ‘She wants me to pay for the whole house and lifestyle’: Man questions girlfriend’s intentions

This article (‘My parents got upset when I refused to share my salary’: 28-year-old sets boundary and seeks advice online) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: Artificial intelligence may have made workflows smoother and faster, but it has also quietly pushed people out of jobs, especially in the tech sector, leaving many workers wondering when their turn might come.

Recently, a Singapore-based employee took to Reddit to vent, saying this is not some distant trend but something already unfolding right inside their own company.

In their post on the r/askSingapore forum, they said their company has been cutting staff across the board, affecting juniors, peers at the same level, and even senior managers. According to them, no group seems protected anymore.

The employee added that it is not just their workplace. They claimed they have also seen “executive-level” employees across both SMEs and MNCs getting the chop

“At this point, it doesn’t seem to matter how experienced or ‘valuable’ you are,” they wrote, suggesting that performance and loyalty no longer offer much security.

“Recently, our SG head (~15 years with the company) was ruthlessly let go. The global CEO was in town, asked him out for coffee at 5 PM… and within ~15 minutes, he was told he was terminated on the spot. We found out through his Teams status later that evening and confirmed it a few days later when he told us.”

While acknowledging that layoffs and restructuring are part and parcel of running a business, the employee said that does little to ease the growing anxiety.

“Seeing things like this happen over and over again makes it really hard to believe in any kind of ‘stability’ or loyalty at work. It feels like no matter how much you give, you’re always just one random decision away from being out,” they wrote.

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep working for an employer who could replace me at any time with someone cheaper, or even with AI. I get that layoffs and restructuring are part of business, and I’m sure people have seen worse. But still…how do you keep going, knowing this could happen to you? Does anyone else feel like we’re all one meeting away from getting fired?” they asked.

“Your employer can let you go on a whim.”

In the comments, a number of Singaporeans who had been laid off at some point in their lives stepped in to share their experiences and offer advice.

One individual tried to comfort the post author by saying that even though layoffs can feel brutal and completely out of nowhere, it is not the end of the road.

They wrote, “As someone who got laid off before (mass retrenchment, people were sobbing/wailing in the office because there were no signs and it was very sudden), what I can say is that you’ll always bounce back as long as you try.”

“Me + many of my colleagues who got laid off ended up in better firms, better teams, better-paying roles. Just focus on the present, and if it ever happens, have faith and know that when one door closes, another will open.”

Another bluntly wrote, “Your employer can let you go on a whim. This is true for every company. Layoffs are normal. I’ve seen colleagues change teams only to have the team get terminated. All of these decisions were made months in advance, and no one was told until the very end. Work, but never believe you’re more important or valuable than anyone else; have a life and social support system outside of work.”

A third said that this kind of situation is unfortunately pretty typical in a high-cost and fast-moving environment like Singapore. They added, “Once you’re mid-career, just be prepared and don’t be blindsided when it actually happens to you. Focus on building valuable skillsets and a network so you’ll feel confident about your employability.”

In other news, a Singaporean woman recently shared online that her boyfriend often gets “annoyed” whenever she asks him to help with small things.

In her post, she explained that her boyfriend gets “irritated” whenever she asks to return their plates or collect their food in hawker centres because he thinks people “should be independent in returning these themselves,” or that he feels there should at least be a “fair exchange” between both parties.

Read more: ‘My BF wants ‘fair exchange’ for every small act of help’ — Woman asks, ‘Is this mindset normal for SG men?’

This article (‘Our SG head for 15 years was terminated in 15 minutes’: Employee rattled by how quickly layoffs happen) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: An early childhood educator took to Reddit to share their frustration over a strict new workplace rule that requires staff to surrender their personal devices during working hours.

Posting on the r/singaporejobs forum on Tuesday (Apr 21), the educator said they have been in the field for about five to six years and have never encountered a policy this restrictive before.

“My centre started an insane policy where we have to surrender our phones and personal devices, including our Apple Watches, to the office,” they said. “We are not allowed to use them in areas with children.”

The educator added that the restriction also applies during children’s nap time, a period that had previously been used by staff to complete administrative work, attend meetings, and prepare teaching materials.

“We used to work on paperwork, attend meetings, and do materials during children’s nap time, usually 1-3 p.m., with our own devices. We don’t even have proper lunch breaks. I think we spend about 20 minutes eating in the dark, and we are all back to work and caring for the children.”

“With this policy, it means that the teachers have to step out of the classroom and take turns to use the devices in areas without children, and it’s inconvenient because we have to share the time with our partners. This gives me prison vibes.”

They also raised concerns about privacy after being told that personal devices could be subject to checks. “Is this the army?” they said. 

Despite the restrictions, the educator noted that much of their work still depends on access to their devices, especially for compiling children’s portfolios and updating parents with photos. As a result, staff often have to remain at the centre after hours to complete their tasks.

Feeling increasingly overwhelmed, the educator said they are now considering leaving the centre altogether and even stepping away from the childcare sector.

“What other jobs can I do?” they asked. “What are some job suggestions, still child-related, since I only have a degree and diploma in this area? Or should I stay, and see this policy through?”

“Maybe you can go apply to be a principal.”

In the comments, one Singaporean Redditor urged the post author to take a stronger stance by publicly calling out the centre.

“Name and shame these employers,” they wrote.

Another commented, “Wah, honestly, this doesn’t sound like just a ‘new policy’ problem already. It sounds like the centre is normalising control over staff time, personal devices, and even your break, and once a place starts doing that, it rarely gets better, lah.”

A third remarked, “Wow, crazy childcare.”

Others, meanwhile, offered suggestions on alternative career paths within the same field. One said, “I see openings for preschool principals on job sites. Maybe you can go apply to be a principal, get a pay bump, and be in control of this policy.”

Another added, “Private childcare? Rich people would pay for you to go to their house to take care of their kids. start out slow, part-time, and build your client base.”

In other news, a fresh graduate’s frustration over today’s highly competitive job market has struck a chord online, after they shared how difficult it has been to secure even a first-round interview despite strong academic credentials. 

Their post quickly drew responses, including blunt feedback from a hiring manager who suggested that salary expectations could be working against them.

Read more: Fresh grad laments job market is ‘fierce’ after 80+ applications; hiring manager responds $5.5k salary expectations might be the problem

This article (‘We have to surrender our phones at work’: Early childhood educator shocked by strict new policy) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.