SINGAPORE: One employer says mealtimes have become a major source of frustration in her household after her domestic helper repeatedly turned down food prepared at home and allegedly wasted meals that had been cooked for her.

Posting anonymously in the “MDW in Singapore” Facebook group, the employer said her family had tried more than once to accommodate the helper’s food preferences, but nothing seemed to be working.

According to her, they even bought separate groceries and cooking staples so the helper could prepare her own meals whenever she wanted. On top of that, family members would sometimes cook food specifically for her as well.

Rather than making things easier, however, the employer claimed the situation only became more stressful.

Seeking advice from other domestic helpers, she wrote: “Do you adjust to employer meals or ask them to arrange your staples or just buy your own food when you feel like? How do we handle this?” 

“Talk to your helper.”

Her post quickly drew a flood of responses, with many domestic helpers saying they usually adapt to whatever food is available in their employers’ homes.

One helper shared, “I adjust. I was once picky, but when I started to work for other people, I learned to adjust as long as it’s edible. I also buy sometimes, whenever I feel like it, or sometimes I cook my own with whatever is inside the fridge.”

Another commented, “I don’t have a problem with food because I eat what my employer eats or we share food. Talk to your helper. If she doesn’t adjust, then let her buy her own food using her own money.”

A third added, “I adjust. I was once picky, but when I started to work for other people, I learned to adjust as long as it’s edible.”

Not everyone, however, follows the same arrangement. Some helpers explained that they eat separately from their employers due to differences in dietary preferences, culture, or religion.

One said, “I have an allowance for food because we eat different food. I eat halal food and Asian food, while my employer eats western food, she gave me one shelf in the fridge so my food would not be mixed up with theirs.”

Another, meanwhile, told the post author, “Your helper is old enough to know that eating is important for her well-being, so if she can’t try her best to adjust to what the employer is eating, that is her problem. She needs to learn how to feel blessed with the food that the employer provides for her.”

Helpers may struggle to adjust to local food

Employers are generally encouraged to keep an eye on whether their helper is eating well. If she regularly leaves food on her plate, loses weight unexpectedly, seems tired all the time, or keeps snacking throughout the day despite being given meals, it could be a sign that she’s not adapting well to the food she’s being served.

If that happens, the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) encourages employers to have an open conversation with their helper about her food preferences.

Questions like what her favourite comfort foods are, whether the portion sizes are enough, if there are foods she cannot eat for religious or health reasons, and whether she prefers sharing family meals or cooking her own food can help start the conversation.

Read also: Fresh graduate faces backlash for calling a S$4k salary offer ‘low’: ‘Fresh grads are demanding the sky and expect everyone to bow down’

This article (Employer says she’s under ‘extreme stress’ as helper keeps rejecting and wasting home-cooked food) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: A domestic helper shared on social media that, in her 11 years working in Singapore, this is the first time she has encountered an employer who “makes her cry” and feels as though “she is not good enough” for the role.

In a post on the SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER Facebook group, the helper said that no matter how hard she tries to follow instructions and do her work properly, she often finds herself being criticised.

She also claimed that her employer’s instructions sometimes seem to change from one day to the next, leaving her confused about what is actually expected of her.

For example, she recalled: “My madam said I could put/load in a dishwasher to save soap and water, but one day I put it in the dishwasher, and she said I could hand wash. The plates I had already washed and left to dry, she then put back in the dishwasher with a rather cross look, even though they were already clean.”

The helper added that she had even asked her employer whether she had done something wrong or if her work was not up to standard, only to be reassured that everything was fine.

“Your work is all great,” her employer allegedly told her.

She further shared that before taking the job, she had been warned that the household’s “madam” was known to have a short temper. Despite this, she decided to accept the position because she believed that everyone has both good and bad sides.

“I accepted it because I know there is a good and bad side in every one of us,” she said. “I know being a domestic helper is very tough work and needs stretchable patience, …but I always think about the positive side.”

“I’ve been with my new employer for 4 months. I want to stay here because I want to help my madam to be okay. I want to understand why she’s like that, but it drains my positive vibes and energy. Any advice if I should transfer or still stay here? I don’t want to judge my madam because we are all human. Nobody is perfect.”

“Sit and talk—lay your issues.”

Many commenters sympathised with her situation and encouraged her to put her mental and emotional well-being first.

One commenter wrote, “Sister, if it drains you, if it affects your mental health, no need to stay…you deserve better…who will treat you better.”

Another advised, “If you are not happy in your job, why stay? It may be better to transfer and find your peace.”

A third added, “Leave it as we are here just to work and earn money; regardless of her condition, it’s none of your responsibility!! We are just helpers and workers, not PhDs.”

A few others, however, felt that the helper should give herself more time to adjust to the household and try resolving the issue through communication before making a decision.

One commenter suggested, “Sit and talk—lay your issues. After talking, if there are no changes, ask for a transfer.”

Another said, “To helpers here, constantly changing environments in search of ‘peace’ or a better employer without addressing the underlying issues is often unhelpful, as the same challenges may arise again elsewhere. It’s all about your attitude and a willing heart!”

In other news, a Singaporean woman has sparked a lively discussion online after sharing that men have become a little too comfortable doing the bare minimum when it comes to dating.

Posting on the r/SingaporeRaw forum, she said that many of the men she has gone on dates with appear more than happy to leave all the planning and decision-making to her.

Read more: ‘Why am I doing all the work?’: Singapore woman says too many men put minimal effort into dating

This article (Maid with 11 years of experience says new employer ‘makes her cry and think she’s not good enough to be their helper’) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: An employer sparked backlash online after complaining that her domestic helper is dating someone in Singapore.

Posting anonymously in the SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER Facebook group on Monday (June 8), the employer said that she found out about the relationship after her helper took a day off.

“I found out that she has a boyfriend….I have advised and warned her many times not to have a boyfriend,” the employer wrote.

She added that when she confronted the helper about the matter, the helper allegedly denied being in a relationship.

“Imagine if your own boss at work says this to you.”

Instead of getting sympathy, many netizens questioned why the employer was sticking her nose into something that simply was not her business.

Several commenters argued that having a boyfriend has little to do with a helper’s ability to do her job.

One user told her, “Having a boyfriend is part of her personal life and doesn’t determine whether she’s a good helper or not.”

Another commented, “Imagine if your own boss at work says this to you. I wonder if you realise what human rights you are infringing upon. They are allowed to have boyfriends.”

A third added, “As long as she is doing her work properly, I wouldn’t be bothered. As long as she doesn’t get me into trouble with the law, I will be fine. Also, having a boyfriend is personal, and they are adults.”

A few others, however, thought that the employer’s concerns were valid.

Some pointed out that relationships can sometimes create complications, especially if they lead to legal issues, disputes, or unexpected pregnancies.

One user wrote, “It’s really up to you. If you are not comfortable, just send her back. No one is going to help you pay the hospital if she ends up getting pregnant and going through complications. Insurance won’t cover it.” 

They added, “She can promise you the sun and the moon on this, but no one can guarantee it. Don’t listen to other people; listen to your gut feelings. She clearly lied to you; think about what other things she can lie to you about.”

Another shared a personal experience, saying, “My helper got a Bangladeshi boyfriend. I was okay [with it], but her relationship ended up with a police report. She said the man harassed her, [then there were incidents] of sneaking out at 1 am. This is a big no…. So off she goes.”

A third said, “If they quarrel, then she becomes moody and not focused on her duties. Please approach her again and remind her this isn’t allowed. If you see that boyfriend around your neighbourhood, send her back.”

One commenter said, “If they quarrel, then she becomes moody and not focused on her duties. Please approach her again and remind her this isn’t allowed. If you see that boyfriend around your neighbourhood, send her back.”

Following the backlash, the employer updated her post with a message aimed at her critics.

“For those unhealthy comments, you won’t hurt me. And I know where you came from. That is why I don’t allow my helper to use a mobile during working hours. This must be indicated in the employer’s house rule.”

She went on to thank commenters who had shared helpful suggestions.

“For those who contributed ideas, I would like to say thank you. I can see there are still good helpers here. Hope you enjoy working here. Save more money and take care of your health. We appreciate your hard work! My house rules include safety first, good health, and good sleep. She slept more than 8-10 hours; she also gained 4 kg of weight.”/TISG

Read also: Fresh graduate faces backlash for calling a S$4k salary offer ‘low’: ‘Fresh grads are demanding the sky and expect everyone to bow down’

This article (‘Having a boyfriend is personal’: Employer faces criticism over maid’s relationship) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: A maid agency has been ordered by the magistrate to pay about S$1,558 to its helper’s former employer after falsely presenting her as Mandarin-speaking, even though she was later found to have little to no ability to communicate in the language.

According to a judgment published on June 9, the Small Claims Tribunal (SCT) found that the agency had engaged in an unfair practice by misrepresenting the helper’s language skills.

The dispute centred on an elderly woman who was bedridden due to a stroke and Parkinson’s disease. Her son had approached the agency in late 2024 specifically seeking a helper who could speak Mandarin and had experience caring for elderly people with disabilities, Channel NewsAsia (CNA) reported (June 10).

Those requirements were not a preference. They were essential as the elderly woman spoke mainly Mandarin and understood very little English, making communication a key part of her daily care.

The helper couldn’t communicate in Mandarin or even English

The maid agency recommended a helper from Myanmar to the family. Her biodata listed Mandarin as a spoken language skill. The agency also sent a video showing her speaking Mandarin and arranged a video interview with the woman’s son.

Based on the documents, video, and interview, the son believed the helper could communicate in Mandarin and therefore, hired her. However, after she started work in December 2024, he began to realise she struggled to understand and speak both Mandarin and English.

The problem became obvious almost immediately. The son informed the agency through WhatsApp but was told to give the helper time and use translation tools to bridge the communication gap.

For about a week, he relied on Google Translate while teaching the helper his mother’s care routine, but his mother couldn’t use a smartphone herself, making communication impossible whenever the son wasn’t present.

By January 2025, the son requested a replacement helper. However, none of the alternatives suggested by the agency met the family’s requirements.

The maid agency argues that Mandarin proficiency is a more expensive package

The agency later refunded part of the money paid but declined to provide a full reimbursement. The matter eventually reached the Small Claims Tribunal under the Consumer Protection (Fair Trading) Act.

During the hearing, the agency argued that it had only been asked to find a helper who could speak “simple” Mandarin and that the helper met that standard. It also argued that stronger Mandarin proficiency would have required a more expensive package and a higher-paid helper, such as those with experience working in Taiwan or Hong Kong.

Tribunal Magistrate Leon Abraham Tan rejected those arguments. He found no evidence that the family had requested only basic proficiency in Mandarin. Messages exchanged between the parties supported the son’s account that he had consistently asked for a helper who could communicate properly in Mandarin.

The magistrate also noted that the agency later suggested another helper who could “speak good Mandarin,” which further weakened its argument.

Mr Tan said the agency couldn’t rely on the claim that finding a Mandarin-speaking helper within the family’s budget was difficult. If the agency believed the request was unrealistic, it could have declined the job instead of accepting it and providing inaccurate information. The tribunal found the helper’s Mandarin ability was either extremely poor or effectively non-existent.

Maid agencies cannot market skills that helpers don’t possess

The case goes beyond a disagreement over language skills. Singapore’s ageing population has increased the demand for foreign domestic workers to care for elderly family members with medical conditions.

Communication isn’t a bonus feature for many such households. It is part of safe and effective caregiving. As such, the tribunal stressed that agencies have a responsibility to accurately describe a helper’s abilities so that families can make informed decisions.

A mismatch can create stress, extra costs and practical difficulties, especially when the person receiving care is elderly, disabled or unable to communicate in another language. Maid agencies cannot market skills that helpers don’t possess, whether the mistake is deliberate or accidental.

The agency representative wanted a video conference hearing from a Starbucks outlet

The judgment also took issue with the conduct of the agency’s representative during the proceedings. According to the tribunal, the representative attempted to attend part of the hearing by video conference from a Starbucks outlet at Changi Airport while accompanying a maid.

The magistrate said the location was unsuitable because hearings are private and shouldn’t be conducted in public spaces where others may overhear proceedings.

The representative later became frustrated when asked to move to a more appropriate location and unsuccessfully sought to have the magistrate removed from the case. He also wanted to file a complaint against the magistrate for being difficult on him.

Mr Tan eventually ordered the agency to pay an additional amount of about S$270 in costs and disbursements, citing the representative’s conduct and applications that unnecessarily prolonged the proceedings. He also emphasised that video-conference attendance is a convenience granted by the tribunal and shouldn’t be treated as an automatic right.

Lack of communication and honesty can affect everything

Families hiring caregivers focus on their work experience, salary and availability. This case shows why verifying language ability can be just as important.

Communication can affect everything from medication and meals to safety and dignity for households caring for elderly relatives.

Again, maid agencies should be careful not to oversell a helper’s abilities. When expectations and reality don’t match, everyone ends up paying the price.

This article (Maid agency falsely claims that its helper could speak Mandarin; magistrate orders them to pay S$1,558 to family) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: A domestic helper took to social media to share that she “felt small” after her employer did not allow her to join the family for a meal at a restaurant.

Posting in the SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER Facebook group, the helper explained that she is still new to the household and is trying her best to adjust to the family’s routines and expectations.

Before heading out that day, she said she had already prepared herself for the possibility that food might not be provided for her.

“Before leaving the house, I already ate breakfast, and I also brought small biscuits and candy just in case.”

When they arrived at the restaurant, her concerns were confirmed. The helper said her employer ordered food only for the family, leaving her to look after the children during the meal. 

“I focused on taking care of the children and feeding them. I understand that employers are not always obligated to buy food for helpers in restaurants, especially expensive ones, and eventually I was given takeaway food later on,” she wrote.

“But honestly, I felt shy and uncomfortable because I was sitting there with no food while people around me were looking. I know maybe I am just overthinking, but it made me feel small somehow.”

She also brought up another issue that has been quietly bothering her at home. According to the helper, the family usually eats directly from shared dishes using their own chopsticks and does not use serving spoons.

Because of that, she sometimes feels “uncomfortable” eating whatever food remains after the family has finished their meal.

“I’m trying to understand if maybe this is normal in some households or maybe I’m just too sensitive because I’m still adjusting. I don’t want to create problems because overall the work is manageable and I want to finish my contract peacefully,” she said.

“I just want to hear some advice or experiences from others in a respectful way. Thank you.”

“Do your job well, and don’t feel small.”

In the comments section, many netizens sympathised with the helper and said they could understand why she felt hurt and embarrassed by the experience.

At the same time, several pointed out that household practices differ widely from one employer to another. While some families treat their helpers like extended family members and include them in meals and outings, others prefer to keep a more formal employer-employee relationship.

One user shared, “I am an employer, and I could never imagine going out to eat while the person caring for my children sits there without food. No matter where we go or how expensive the restaurant is, I make sure my helper eats with us too.”

Another commented, “It is really up to individuals. I cannot speak for others, but I usually treat my helper as a teammate. Whatever my kids eat, she gets to eat too. We eat together. I will ask my helper what she would like to eat.”

Others encouraged the helper not to take the situation too personally.

A third told her, “Hi dear, it’s normal here. There will be various types of people, but I want you to know that you’re not alone, and don’t lose hope because not everyone will behave the same way. You may experience different and kinder treatment in the future, so keep it up, do your job well, and don’t feel small.”

In other news, a man has touched hearts online after sharing how his wife and in-laws helped him heal from a toxic upbringing and showed him what a happy family truly feels like.

In a post titled “I got my happy ending” on the SGWhispers Facebook group, the man said that he grew up in an “extremely toxic family full of narcissists,” which severely affected his understanding of what was normal and what was not.

Read more: ‘I got my happy ending’: Man says his wife and in-laws helped him heal from a toxic upbringing

This article (‘I felt small’: Maid says she sat without food while feeding employer’s children at restaurant) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: One helper’s gamble appears to have backfired after she dared her employer to “send her back to the agency” if she was unhappy with her work.

Instead of brushing off the remark, the employer said she took the helper up on the challenge and wasted no time arranging for her to be sent home.

In a post on a local forum on Friday (June 5), the employer wrote, “I told the agent to buy the tickets to send her home (at my own expense). Afterwards, the agent informed me that she was begging to keep her job. I replied, ‘Not going to happen.’”

Still clearly frustrated by the experience, the employer said she believes too many helpers assume they can simply move to another household if things do not go their way.

“Cocky people who cannot tell the difference between privilege and entitlement need to be humbled. There are far too many helpers who come here thinking they can transfer to a less demanding household just by doing a bad job and asking to go back to the agency. Unfortunately for my helper, she will find that I am not a pushover.”

The employer then listed a series of incidents that she said convinced her the helper was not suitable for the job. Among them were allegedly mixing up different sets of clothes, dressing her child in clothes worn inside out, and repeatedly packing her child’s school bag with missing items despite a packing list being clearly displayed.

She also claimed the helper would refill an insulated bottle with hot water from the previous day, even after it had already gone cold.

Then came the request that she found particularly cheeky. According to the employer, the helper wanted to spend her day off in Kuala Lumpur and even asked the family to help her buy BTS concert tickets.

The employer said she had already been warned that the helper had “an attitude problem” before joining the household. 

Even so, she and her family decided to give her a chance, believing she might simply have been misunderstood or that her previous employers, who were elderly, had been overly impatient or critical.

Looking back, she said that assumption turned out to be wrong.

“Boy, were we wrong. So we decided not to pass this rotten apple around,” she said. “If financially possible, I strongly encourage everyone who has problematic helpers to send them back to where they came from instead of passing the rotten apple around.”

“Good job.”

Many commenters appeared to support the employer’s decision.

One Singaporean Redditor praised her for standing firm, writing, “Well done. Some of these helpers really think they are very smart and can challenge employers.”

Another commented, “Kudos. Your statement of not passing the bad apple.”

A third joked, “Requested to help her buy a BTS ticket. Lol… But we Sinkies are the entitled ones, wor. Anyway, good job.”

Meanwhile, another commenter argued that the helper’s last-minute pleas were probably motivated by self-interest rather than genuine remorse.

“The worst part is these people aren’t begging out of contrition or a real lesson learned. They just want to get back and continue.”

In other news, a 32-year-old healthcare worker earning up to S$8.5k a month says the brutal hours and constant stress of her job eventually destroyed her health, leaving her with “stage 3 cancer, chest pains, gastritis, burnout, depression, and anxiety.”

In a Reddit post, the woman shared that she spent seven years in the healthcare sector, often surviving on just three hours of sleep while juggling full-day shifts and 24/7 on-call duties for an entire week.

Read also: Healthcare worker earning S$8.5k says years of stress and long hours left her with cancer, chest pains, gastritis, and mental health struggles

This article (Maid dares employer to send her back to the agency, then begs to keep her job) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: An employer has decided to send her Filipina domestic helper home after discovering that she had borrowed money from an unlicensed moneylender, a situation that allegedly resulted in the family receiving “threatening messages, relentless spam calls and even physical harassment.”

Posting anonymously in the SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER Facebook group on Wednesday (Jun 3), the employer said she was shocked to learn that her helper had provided the family’s details to the moneylender without their knowledge.

“We treated her like family and she has been with us for 1.5 years. She didn’t even try to ask us for a loan because of her ego. Until the day she left, she didn’t feel remorse for her actions and didn’t tell her family what she did. It is very disappointing.”

According to the employer, the debt issue was not the only concern. She claimed the helper had also engaged in a number of “unethical” activities. 

Among the examples she listed were communicating with multiple foreign workers through TikTok, meeting men during her days off, and allegedly lying after using the family’s laundry detergent to wash her own clothes. 

She also said that the helper frequently spent beyond her means and would even pawn gold jewellery to obtain quick cash when money was tight.

The employer claimed that these habits led the helper to accumulate more than S$1,500 in debt within just five months.

She continued, “Honestly, we would’ve allowed her to transfer or wanted to give her a chance but after discovering that she also provided our child’s details and photo to unknown people, this has severely broken trust.” 

Concerned that the helper may eventually seek employment in Singapore again, the employer said she decided to make the post as a warning to prospective employers.

“She mentioned that she will try to come back to Singapore to work; hence, we are writing this post for potential employers to take note.”

“If you are considering a Filipina helper and worried it might be her, please feel free to comment and I’ll PM her name so you can take note and avoid her. Not posting her name here because there’s no point in publicly shaming her. We’ve done the necessary updates to MOM and made a police report.”

“However, we’re not very confident that she will be blacklisted because multiple calls to MOM provided us with different answers. Yes, she needs a job, but it’s not right for her to potentially sabotage another family.”

“I urge all employers to leave feedback on the MOM website.”

In the comments, one employer said, “I’m so sorry you had to experience this. My ex-helper had the same issue of borrowing money.”

Another commented, “The new cohort of Filipino maids has tarnished all the good reputation their seniors built up over the years.”.

A third encouraged employers to be more proactive when it comes to leaving feedback, writing:

 “I urge all employers to leave feedback on the MOM website for any helper who has previously worked for them. Please include your contact information so future employers can reach out for reference checks,” highlighting the need for proper references before hiring.”

“Give feedback on positive and negative, providing a testimonial can help new employers make more informed decisions.”

As per the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), domestic helpers are prohibited from borrowing money from unlicensed moneylenders. Those found engaging in such activity may be permanently banned from working in Singapore.

Read also: ‘We’re a family here’: Singaporeans say it’s one of the biggest workplace red flags

This article (Singapore employer terminates Filipina maid after family becomes target of alleged loan shark harassment) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: An employer has complained online that her domestic helper expects meals to be cooked for her despite having access to a fully stocked fridge.

On Wednesday (Jun 3), the employer posted in the “Myanmar Maids in Singapore” Facebook group, stating, “Nowadays, are helpers so demanding? Expect employer to cook for them? My fridge is full, but she’s so lazy to cook lunch, then complains that I never give her food. Any employer in the same shoes as me? Any helper can help explain her actions? She really pisses me off every day.”

She added, “I initially cooked for her to show her how to turn on the stove, but subsequently she started thinking that ma’am is supposed to cook for her.”

To support her claims, the employer shared a photo showing a refrigerator packed with food.

Photo: Facebook/ Myanmar Maids in Singapore

Beyond the food-related complaints, the employer said that the helper, whose main role is to care for children, had repeatedly shown little enthusiasm for the job. 

The helper allegedly told the family she was “too old to run after kids” and claimed she did not know how to organise toys or properly engage with children because such practices were uncommon where she came from.

The employer also raised concerns about the helper’s conduct while supervising the children outdoors.

She claimed that when crossing roads, the helper would sometimes tell the children to “run” across instead of waiting for vehicles to pass.

Adding to her growing list of grievances, the employer said that the helper rarely greets her, regularly “spoils” the children, spends long periods on her phone, and has damaged toys, pots and pans without apologising.

“[My helper] just wants to find an easy job. She doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, expects the employer to serve her, and uses her phone the whole day.”

“I am returning to the agent, and she is looking at a transfer at the maid agency. She has a 7-month loan (cleared 1.5 months with me). If you wish to get her name, you can comment.”

“We don’t know the full story.”

In the comments, one fellow employer said she felt frustrated after reading about the helper’s alleged behaviour.

“Employers must provide 3 meals a day, BUT they must COOK FOR THEMSELVES not we cook for them. So many maids apply for the job, expect to be paid monthly, expect employers to provide as per MOM regulations, but they are lazy and totally useless!”

Another commenter said the story reminded her of a former helper.

“Wow… you reminded me of my ex-helper. Food was prepared for her, but she would say to keep it in the fridge because she would eat it the next day. However, the food stayed there for two weeks. She couldn’t even be bothered to throw it away, even though she was the one who [asked to keep] it. She thought she was a princess.”

A third commenter claimed to have had a similar experience.

“My previous helper also had the same pattern. Worst case, she accused us of not giving 3 meals to eat (but she was the one who didn’t prepare for herself). And telling lies, all sort of lies…”

Others, however, were not entirely convinced by the employer’s account. One user pointed out that some employers keep their refrigerators fully stocked but do not allow their helpers to eat certain food items. “We don’t know the full story. Let MOM investigate,” they added.

Another questioned whether the employer had clearly communicated that the helper was free to cook whatever food was available.

“Yes, we see your fridge is full!! No doubt, BUT did you tell her she can cook anything she wants?”

In other news, a new domestic helper has raised concerns after finding out that the family she was hired to work for included more people than what was originally stated in her contract.

In an anonymous post in the “SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER” Facebook group, the helper shared, “In my contract, it states that I am only supposed to care for Sir, Ma’am, and two kids. However, when I arrived at my employer’s house, two aunties were also living here.”

Read more: ‘Is this normal and okay?’: New maid shocked to find extra family members living in employer’s home

This article (Employer fumes as helper expects meals to be cooked for her despite fridge being full) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: On Friday (May 29), an employer claimed on social media that hiring domestic helpers has become increasingly difficult and frustrating, as many candidates “overpromise” and “exaggerate” their skills and experience during the recruitment process, only for employers to later discover that they are unable to perform even simple household tasks.

Sharing her experience in the SGWhispers Facebook group, the employer said she had come across helpers whose resumes and interviews made them seem highly experienced, but the reality turned out to be very different.

She claimed that some helpers say they can cook but end up struggling with simple dishes because they are afraid of “oil splattering.”

Others reportedly state that they have experience caring for babies or young children, only for employers to later realise that they lack even basic childcare skills.

“It’s frustrating, and frankly, it feels misleading,” she wrote. “The biodata can be polished to look impressive, interviews feel rehearsed, and half the time you don’t know what’s real and what’s not.”

She also questioned who should be held accountable when things do not work out. 

According to her, employers pay significant sums in agency fees and other hiring costs, yet agencies often respond by saying they cannot guarantee a helper’s quality, performance, or level of training.

On top of that, she expressed frustration that some helpers who allegedly exaggerate their qualifications are still very particular about working conditions and benefits.

“These helpers demand their rights to use their phones all day and access to WiFi, insist on only working in small households of 2-3 people, want their own room, want weekly days off plus PH days off, and cannot take it when corrected for something like forgetting to turn off the stove… it’s too much.”

The employer further claimed that some would threaten to return to their agency or ask to be sent home whenever disagreements arise.

She added, “It is already stressful working full time, managing a household, being a caregiver, raising a child/children and then facing uncertainty with helpers who run away, threaten to go back agent or be sent home. This is a real concern, and not talked about enough. If you’ve gone through this, you’ll understand how draining it is.”

“At the end of the day, it’s just pure luck that leads you to a good helper.”

In the comments, one netizen encouraged employers to leave feedback on the Ministry of Manpower’s (MOM) website for any helper who has previously worked for them. They suggested including contact details so that future employers can reach out for reference checks.

“Give feedback that is positive and negative; providing a testimonial can help new employers make more informed decisions,” they added. “This could go a long way in reducing the number of problematic helpers in Singapore, especially since the system is not doing enough to protect us.”

Others, however, felt that while feedback systems and reference checks might help a bit, they would not completely remove the uncertainty of hiring.

One said, “At the end of the day, it’s just pure luck that leads you to a good helper. We’ve had a few terrible ones, and yet we’ve also had truly wonderful ones—so, in essence, it’s really up to their motivation to be good human beings and, more importantly, their value system (which boils down to luck for us because no biodatas can capture this).”

Another chimed in, “It’s luck. Some came here with the wrong expectation that SG is rich, and so if they stay in a house, they should feel rich.”/TISG

Read also: SG student feels deflated after father questions decision to study at NUS instead of Oxbridge

This article (‘At the end of the day, it’s pure luck’: Employer opens up about the challenges of hiring helpers) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: A domestic helper has sparked a wave of reactions online after sharing a screenshot of a text conversation in which her employer called her “stupid” over a mix-up involving swimming gear.

The helper posted the exchange on Monday (Jun 1) in the Facebook group SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER, where it quickly attracted attention from both fellow helpers and employers.

In her post, the helper explained that she had worked in Singapore for 10 years and had always tried to remain patient despite challenges on the job. However, she said she felt she could no longer continue working under her current employer.

“I [have worked] for 10 years. I have more patience because I want to work in Singapore. Now I cannot stay longer anymore. She had eight maids before me. No one stayed. I hope one day I can find a good employer. I am only waiting to finish my contract,” she wrote.

According to the screenshot, the disagreement began when the employer could not find a new swimming cap and goggles that she had previously asked the helper to place in a swimming bag.

Employer:  “I asked you to put new swimming cap and goggles in my bag for today? Where r they??”

Helper:  “Is here i don’t know u need today mam”

Employer: “I told you to put into swimming bag both goggles and swimming cap. Today you pack my swimming things with old goggles and swimming cap! You r so STUPID !!”

Photo from SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER

“Employers must learn to grow up and talk clearly”

The post has since drawn more than 243 comments and 182 likes, with many readers expressing sympathy for the helper and criticising the employer’s choice of words.

One fellow helper shared that in her 21 years of working for the same family, she had never been spoken to in such a manner. 

“In my 21 years with them, I have never been spoken to like that. Even Sir — if I did something he didn’t like, he would call me to sit down, and we would talk, but he spoke to me calmly and very softly.”

Another commenter, who identified herself as an employer, said, “It is very rude of an employer to speak that way. I am an employer myself—I don’t expect my helper to pack my things. Even my kids should pack their own things.”

Others questioned why the employer had not checked the swimming bag herself if the items were so important.

“Employers must learn to grow up and talk clearly,” one netizen wrote. “Unlike your daddy and mummy, your maid didn’t see you grow up and cannot read your mind. If your swimming is so important to you, why didn’t you check?”

Not everyone sided with the helper, however. One user said, “This is so one-sided. If your employer can be so angry, I bet this is not the first time you have made such a mistake. So please reflect on yourself.”

Another added, “Honestly, I get why the employer is angry. Because sometimes we need to repeat so many times, and also when helpers don’t understand, they just say, ‘Yes, madam,’ and then end up doing it wrongly or doing another method. It’s very frustrating because we hire a helper to lessen our load, be it physical or mental, but end up, we employers are actually more exhausted at the end.”/TISG

Read also: ‘There’s 0 flexibility’: Singapore worker opens up about burnout and workplace stress

This article (‘You are so stupid!’: Maid shares text exchange with employer that left netizens shocked) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: A domestic helper has claimed that her employer refused to let her rest despite running a fever, with the employer allegedly reminding her, “We pay you money… a lot.”

In an anonymous post shared in the ‘SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER’ Facebook group, the helper explained that after finishing her daily household chores, she is usually still expected to spend the evening entertaining and playing with her employer’s child unless the child happens to fall asleep early.

However, after recently coming down with a fever, she decided to politely ask if she could turn in earlier for the night.

“I told my ma’am, ‘Can I get rest early today, after I finish my work, because I got fever,’” she wrote.

However, the request did not go down well.

Rather than telling her to rest, drink water, or take some medicine, the employer allegedly rejected the request outright and launched into a lecture about salary.

“She refused me and said a lot of things like, ‘We pay you money… a lot,’” the helper claimed.

Confused and upset, she turned to the online community to ask whether it was unreasonable to request a little rest while sick.

“When you’re sick, is it ok to ask for rest early after finishing all the work at night? How did your employer respond to you in case you’re in this situation?” 

“Nothing is more important than your health.”

The post quickly sparked reactions from the online community.

One netizen bluntly wrote, “Don’t believe you. If you are sick, your boss would not want you to play with her kids. Unless she wants her kids to be sick too. Nonsense!”

The helper, however, stood by her story and suggested that her employer was more concerned about getting every last cent’s worth of labour out of the day.

“That’s my main reason. You don’t understand; she just doesn’t want to waste her money. She pays me; that’s why she didn’t want me to rest,” she replied.

She then added, “Besides, you’re right. I guess my boss didn’t recognise that a fever can [easily affect] others.”

Another helper chimed in to say the situation sounded painfully familiar.

“I’m also sick. I asked my boss if I could rest early while they went out for dinner today, but she said, ‘Iron clothes while you rest.’ I’m so sad.”

Meanwhile, one employer shared they would never expect a sick helper to continue working, especially around young children.

“Usually when my helper is unwell, I would give her off day so she can rest the whole day, and I will personally take leave to step in handling the house, cooking, and my toddler.”

Others encouraged the helper to seek help or report the matter if necessary.

One commenter wrote, “Report to MOM. Working while you are sick is strictly not allowed.”

Another added, “Call your agency. Don’t do housework if you are not feeling well, don’t care! [Nothing is] more important than your health.”

As stated by the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), employers are responsible for safeguarding the health and well-being of their migrant domestic workers (MDWs).

They are required to provide rest days, medical care, and other essential support. 

Read also: ‘Is this normal and okay?’: New maid shocked to find extra family members living in employer’s home

This article (‘We pay you a lot’: Maid says employer refused to let her rest despite having a fever) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: A woman has gone online to share how upset she feels over the possibility that her family’s domestic helper could end up living in a tiny utility room when they relocate to a new house.

Sharing her concerns online, she explained that the helper currently has a pretty decent setup. Since the woman’s sister already moved out, the helper has been staying alone in a proper room with her own attached toilet.

But that arrangement may soon disappear.

“My parents are relocating to a new house that only has 3 bedrooms—for my parents, me, and my brother—and I believe they’re going to put her into the bomb shelter,” she wrote on Reddit’s r/asksg forum on Wednesday (May 27).

In an edit to her post, the woman clarified that the space is actually a small utility room, not a bomb shelter, which can only fit a “small bed, but no wardrobe, etc.”

“I feel quite stressed about this. How is she going to keep her stuff? My mom and [the helper] don’t have a good relationship, but I feel like she’s nice, and I wouldn’t say I’m very close to her as she just came recently (end of last year), but she’s still very nice.”

She added that the thought of the arrangement made her feel “really bad” for the helper, especially since it would be a major downgrade from her current living conditions.

“I will talk to my parents about this shortly, but is there anything they can even do now that they have signed the papers to buy the new house?” she wrote, hoping to hear some advice.

“Perhaps you can offer to share your room with her?”

In the comments section, many Singaporean Redditors sympathised with the woman’s concerns and offered practical suggestions on how the family could make the small utility room more comfortable and livable for the helper.

One Redditor said, “It’s a tough conversation to have, for sure. As a student, you may not be able to make a decision for your parents, but you can help them find an innovative solution for your helper.”

“Sometimes with clever carpentry, there can be a way for the helper to have her bed and storage in the utility room, but really without windows or air conditioning, it can be very stifling, so ventilation is important. There should be a built-in fan at least.”

Another offered a simple solution, saying, “Perhaps you can offer to share your room with her? This is a solution that is within your control.”

Meanwhile, a third user advised the woman to speak directly with the helper first rather than assume what she may or may not be comfortable with.

“Speak to her about what she needs? ” they wrote. “If she needs privacy, then the utility room may be the only available choice. Give her a space outside to store things, and get her a wall fan and a portable air conditioner to keep herself comfy. Maybe you can install a curtain and keep doors open, so it is not suffocating.”

A fourth added, “Allow her to put a wardrobe/cupboard in your room for her belongings so the utility room is only for the bed. Put in a wall fan for better ventilation and make sure she has power outlets for charging her electronics.”

According to the Ministry of Manpower’s (MOM) guidelines, employers are strongly encouraged to provide domestic helpers with a separate room. 

If this is not feasible due to space constraints or housing arrangements, employers must still ensure that the helper’s accommodation provides sufficient space, privacy, proper ventilation, and protection from environmental elements such as heat, rain, and strong winds. 

Read also: ‘I don’t want to partake in the system’ — Singaporean woman conflicted about hiring helper to raise future kids

This article (‘I feel quite stressed’: Singapore woman worried helper may have to sleep in cramped utility room) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.