SINGAPORE: A Singapore worker who had nearly a year to prepare for retrenchment still found herself unready when the final day arrived. Her story shows that job loss affects more than just income for some, as they link their career loss to a loss of identity, routine, and a sense of place in society.

She was given 10 months’ notice as her company moved operations overseas. During that time, she trained a replacement team and kept work running. On paper, it looked like a smooth transition, but in reality, it became a slow, drawn-out goodbye, Channel NewsAsia (CNA) reports (April 27).

A grief that stayed buried in silence

Instead of processing the loss, she focused on staying productive. Work became her shield. The grief stayed buried.

Colleagues left one by one. The office shrank. By her final day, only two people remained from what was once an 18-member team.

The ending didn’t come with a dramatic send-off. There were no meetings, no speeches. Just a silent return of her laptop and access card. That silence hit harder than expected.

She left the office and cried in a cinema, alone

She tried to stay composed. That image held for months… but then it collapsed in minutes.

A simple exchange with a colleague triggered it. Then another brief conversation. Words became difficult. Emotions surfaced all at once. She left the office and cried in a cinema, alone, during a weekday screening.

From the outside, retrenchment can look clean. Severance is paid. Work ends. Life moves on. But what disappears is harder to measure. It is the daily rhythm. The sense of usefulness. The quiet pride in doing something well.

Her identity had become tied to her job role

Over time, she realised her identity had become tied to her role. For two decades, her value was linked to output and performance. Without that title, there was a void.

She tried to stay busy at first, updating her resume, planning next steps, and filling time, but it didn’t help. The emotional impact came in waves. Some days were productive. Others were slow and heavy.

Friends who had gone through layoffs told her the same thing. The feeling doesn’t vanish overnight.

Mindset shift: Seeking internal value instead of chasing external validation

With space to think, harder questions surfaced. Was she chasing senior roles out of interest, or validation? Would she accept less pay for more time with her family?

These weren’t urgent questions before, but they became painfully unavoidable after her job ended, so she decided to pause job seeking for a few months. Not to delay, but to reset.

That reset led to small mindset changes, such as writing for herself. Spending free time without guilt. Trying new things without a work outcome attached to it.

Eventually, one of those efforts led to a children’s book deal. It then changed how she saw her own value. Different didn’t mean any less.

Giving people more time to prepare doesn’t make retrenchment easier

Layoffs have now become more common across sectors as Singapore’s cost-of-living pressures and restructuring also continue across the region.

The Singaporean worker’s story stands out because it challenges a common belief: that giving people more time to prepare makes retrenchment easier. It certainly doesn’t.

A longer lead-up to ending someone’s career can stretch the emotional strain, delay closure, and keep people stuck in a space between, where they are still working while they’re on their way out. This tension builds silently within.

For many, work isn’t just a job. It is their identity, so when it disappears, people are forced to ask questions they may have avoided for years.

You are more than just your job role

Eight months on, the worker’s grief over the job loss has softened, even though it hasn’t entirely disappeared. She now sees herself as more than just her previous job role: a writer, a parent, a partner, and an individual outside of work.

That change of heart and spirit didn’t come easily. It came through with much emotional and mental discomfort. And that might be the real takeaway: losing a job hurts even when expected. Even when prepared. Ignoring that feeling only delays the inevitable.

A more practical approach is to acknowledge a job loss early. Give yourself time and space to process it. Let it run its course, because a job may end in a day or some day, but the pain and meaning attached to it takes longer to heal and untangle.

Read related: ‘The most useful thing a senior told me at work’ — Workers share the advice that ‘stuck with them until today’

This article (‘Who am I without my work?’ — Singapore worker grieves after losing her job and the identity it gave her) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.