SINGAPORE: A woman has come under fire online after describing her own boyfriend as “unromantic” for not surprising her with “just because” flowers.

In a post shared on the r/sgdatingscene subreddit on Saturday (Apr 25), she opened up about wanting more spontaneous and thoughtful gestures in her relationship. She said that, as a woman, she hopes her boyfriend would occasionally do things like buy her flowers for no particular reason, pick up small gifts simply because he was thinking of her, or make last-minute plans just because he wanted to see her.

“I wish my boyfriend could buy me just-because flowers,” she wrote. “It sucks to date an unromantic guy.”

According to her, this was not an unspoken expectation or something she had kept to herself. She shared that she had already told her boyfriend directly that she wished he would be “more romantic” and had made it clear that she loves receiving flowers. Despite that, she said there had been little to no change in his behaviour.

After laying out her frustrations, she turned to the online community for their views, asking, “Is romance dead? Ladies/men, what are your thoughts/experiences on this issue of mine?”

“To me, this is just some dopamine, which will fade over time.”

 In the discussion thread, one Singaporean pointed out that romance is not a one-size-fits-all approach and can show up in different ways. “Romance comes in different languages and can be expressed differently,” they wrote. “Also, have you done the same for him?”

Another female user chimed in, saying that the post author “should not jump to conclusions” because her boyfriend might just be busy.

“Sometimes they are so caught up with work, exhaustion, problems in life, etc., that such thoughts don’t come by, especially when daily life is quite overwhelming for most people. Maybe you bring him flowers instead as a surprise, because men don’t generally get flowers as compared to us girls. It’s quite sad, actually.”

A third pointed out, “Just because flowers are supposed to be just because flowers, just because gifts are supposed to be just because gifts. If you’re expecting them, then it’s not just because it already is, is it? Yes, it will be nice to receive, but you can’t complain if you don’t. Because if you do, then to you it’s clearly not just because already. Romance is not dead. Your expectation/idea of romance might be.”

A fourth user commented, “In my opinion, you’re probably kind of ‘young’ in the relationship. To me, this is just some dopamine, which will fade over time. I am not judging you. A mature relationship will find romantic moments through small little things in the relationship. It’s probably good to let him know what you really love. If he still cannot fulfill, you already know the answer. Good luck!”

In response to all the criticism, the post author said: “Thank you for all the different perspectives, guys. Gift-wise on my part, I do all the things I’ve said I want to be reciprocated with. I did the communication and the action already.”

In other news, questions over whether children owe their parents financial transparency have resurfaced after a 28-year-old woman said her decision to withhold her salary left her parents “upset.”

Writing on the r/asksg forum, she shared that her parents had long made a habit of asking about her pay whenever she started a new job.

Read more: ‘My parents got upset when I refused to share my salary’: 28-year-old sets boundary and seeks advice online

This article (‘Is romance dead?’ Woman slammed after calling BF unromantic over ‘just-because’ flowers) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.