SINGAPORE: A seemingly harmless phrase often heard during job interviews is coming under scrutiny online, after a Singaporean worker claimed it is one of the biggest warning signs a company can give prospective employees.

“We’re like a family here.”

While some employers use the phrase to project warmth, teamwork, and camaraderie, critics say it can sometimes signal blurred boundaries, unrealistic expectations, and a workplace culture that demands personal sacrifice without matching rewards.

Posting on Reddit’s r/asksg forum, the Singaporean said he has grown deeply suspicious of companies that proudly describe themselves as “family.”

“Every time a company says, ‘We’re not just colleagues, we’re family,’ it immediately triggers me,” he wrote.

According to him, “family” in corporate language often comes with some very specific expectations.

He said, “‘Family usually means: stay back a bit longer, be flexible, help out this one time, cover your colleague, and wear multiple hats. But when bonuses, promotions, increments, or layoffs happen, suddenly we’re not family anymore.”

The man also said he actually trusts companies more when they are straightforward about the relationship.

“Maybe I’ve become too jaded from corporate life, but I genuinely trust companies more when they’re honest and just say: ‘We pay you. You do the work.’”

At the end of his post, he asked other forum members: “Am I the only one who gets nervous whenever an interviewer says ‘we’re like a family here’?”

“I want boundaries at work.”

The post quickly struck a chord with many online users, who agreed that companies heavily promoting “family culture” are a red flag.

One user shared that they once rejected a well-paying job offer purely because the employer repeatedly described the company as a family.

They added, “It’s a major red flag for me. I’d gladly let someone else join their family. There’s just too many unspoken obligations and boundary crossings that I would not be paid enough for.”

Another commenter shared, “‘We are a family!’When my request for transfer to another department was put up, no exit interview, no farewell lunch, no ‘Why do you want to leave?’ Mind you, I slogged my guts out to save that dying product and made it living again. I took on the job of another 1-1.5 headcount.”

“That’s why I decided to leave, and this ‘family’ decided to treat me as a stranger till this day. But it seems like everyone in the family wants to leave, except for the managers. I wonder why. When you hear this phrase, RUN! They never treat you like family. They use that to manipulate you to work.”

A third user commented, “‘We’re a family’ sends me running in the opposite direction. Nope, nope, nope. I am also wary of colleagues who always go, ‘hello friends.’”

A fourth added, “Run away at the first instance. I want boundaries at work. I want to be paid for the work done. I want to be rewarded when the company does well.”/TISG

Read also: SG student feels deflated after father questions decision to study at NUS instead of Oxbridge

This article (‘We’re a family here’: Singaporeans say it’s one of the biggest workplace red flags) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

SINGAPORE: Is Singapore’s brutal work culture quietly killing people’s desire to date, settle down, and start families?

One man certainly thinks so.

In a recent Reddit post, the man opened up about how his toxic workplace has completely drained him, to the point where romance now feels less like an exciting possibility and more like an extra unpaid shift he simply cannot afford to take on.

Posting on an online forum, he shared that he works around “11 to 12 hours” every single day. “Every night I go back exhausted, wake up exhausted,” he wrote, adding that he has slowly lost interest in his “hobbies, personal goals, and even self-improvement.” 

He also admitted that he no longer feels “hopeful about the future.”

To make matters worse, he said his boss has made the environment even more unbearable by constantly targeting the single employees in the office. 

“My passive-aggressive boss loves gaslighting me and taking out his marriage and kid frustration on me because I am single and unwed. Colleagues without kids also get the same treatment.”

The man then joked that he might as well just continue living with his parents and “be a leech forever,” suggesting he has more or less given up on the traditional milestones people are expected to pursue.

“The prospect of owning a 2-room BTO and then downgrading to a S$2-3k/month job that stops once you leave becomes more appealing every day,” he wrote. “No need to worry about a job, no need to worry about not being good enough for your partner.”

“Start applying for jobs.”

In the comments section, several Singaporeans said they could relate to his experience, with several admitting that work had consumed so much of their lives that relationships, friendships, and even their mental health ended up taking a backseat.

One individual shared, “I gave up on dating, friends, hobbies and family at the first few years of my career. Everyday work, OT, too tired to do anything, then just go home and rest. Got depressed.”

The commenter added that because work became the centre of their entire life, every office conflict and performance review started affecting them deeply.

“Some days, I just cry because my performance at work was heavily judged randomly. Just want to tell you that work is not everything; we are all replaceable at work…Remember to try to live for yourself instead of working so hard to build the company’s future.”

Another commenter said that after going through a painful breakup, they buried themselves in work and overtime for years, only to unexpectedly end up marrying someone from the office.

“Your work environment sounds rough, and perhaps it’s time to start looking to switch jobs,” they added.

Others, however, argued that being busy does not automatically mean relationships are impossible.

One said, “I work up to 16 hours daily at times, but I still can have a relationship. It’s all about the energy you give her. If you can handle her and don’t show you’re tired, she will love you and wait to see you even if it is just for an hour.” 

“If you work 6 hours a day but don’t have time to see her, then it is a problem. If your job is the problem, then it’s time to look into changing jobs.”

Another advised, “Hugs, I say negative energy companies are not worth it. Start applying for jobs and then leave and find some balance. We are social beings who need to feel love/care/belonging from beings.”

“If your environment of being drains you, you need to learn to protect yourself from emotional burdens so that the negativity doesn’t eat you, but it’s better to find a place where there’s positive energy.”

In other news, a frustrated man took to Reddit to share that his mum constantly demanded money from him the moment he became an adult and started working full-time.

In a post titled “Life is too tiring” on the r/asksg subreddit, he said his mum kept “hounding” him to give her money and even asked him to “pay her back for all the food” she bought for him when he was growing up.

Read more: ‘I had to pay her back for food’: Son says mum constantly demanded money after he became an adult

This article (Man says Singapore’s work culture pushed him to stop dating: ‘Everyday I work 11-12 hours a day’) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.