Gay men have equal parenting rights in Canada — but not equal access to parenthood
Since the legalization of same-sex marriage in Canada in 2005, and through provincial changes to adoption and parentage laws, gay men have gained formal recognition as parents. But my recent research suggests that access to fatherhood for this cohort remains deeply unequal in practice.
In 2021, six per cent of male same-gender couples in Canada were raising children, compared with 24 per cent of female same-gender couples. While we have no data comparing their desire to parent, the gap points to a deeper reality.
Drawing on interviews with 23 Canadian prospective gay fathers, I found that restrictive pathways to parenthood shape which gay men can become parents. Equal rights, it turns out, have not translated into equal access.
For gay men, becoming parents is a complex, expensive and uncertain project.
Why gay fatherhood is harder to access
Gay men typically build families through highly bureaucratized processes, including traditional and gestational surrogacy, donors, foster care and public and private adoption.
Each comes with its own legal, financial and emotional demands. As a consequence, pursuing parenthood typically requires gay men to spend years planning, researching and co-ordinating across multiple institutions — from fertility clinics and lawyers to social workers and government agencies — and sometimes even across countries and jurisdictions.
Many prospective gay fathers become “project managers” of their own journey to parenthood. They must compare pathways, calculate costs and assess risks with no guarantee of success.
In my research, for example, I came one couple who spent years preparing for an adoption. Although they worried about whether it would become a permanent situation, they bought baby items while waiting for the adoption to be finalized. Unfortunately, the placement fell through. Such uncertainty can fuel an emotionally turbulent cycle of hope, loss and cautious optimism.
Cost is the greatest barrier and varies depending on the pathway.
Public adoption and foster care are affordable but involve long waits and limited control. Private adoption can cost between $15,000 and $30,000. Surrogacy, especially gestational surrogacy — where intended parents reimburse pregnancy-related expenses such as medical costs rather than pay a fee for the pregnancy — can exceed the recommended budget of $100,000.
Yet even lower-cost options come with hidden financial barriers. For example, prospective adoptive parents must pass home studies that assess whether they can afford to raise a child.
Wealthier men are better able to pursue surrogacy, which can offer greater control and a biological connection between parent and child. Men with lower incomes may be more likely to pursue adoption or foster care, which involve fewer choices, longer waits and uncertainty.
Once parents, finances still shape gay fathers’ families, including their access to leave and benefits.
Gay fathers face risk, uncertainty and scrutiny
The journey to gay fatherhood is also emotionally demanding.
Foster placements are temporary. Adoptions can fall through at the last minute. Surrogacy arrangements can fail. Some face repeated setbacks.
Prospective adoptive fathers are subject to background checks, home inspections, interviews and even psychological evaluations. Many of these screening processes exist to protect children and ensure stable placements. But when oversight is excessively burdensome or inconsistently applied, it can also create barriers that some cannot overcome.
In addition, gay men must often educate institutions, correcting parental forms that assume there is a mother or explaining their families to hospitals, schools and insurers.
These men are not just building families. They are working to make their families properly acknowledged within systems that were not designed for them.
What policymakers could do differently
These challenges demand attention as 2SLGBTQI+ families grow and policymakers in B.C. and Ontario, as well as other Canadian jurisdictions, revisit fertility and adoption funding, as well as aspects of child welfare and adoption systems.
Although adoption is only one possible outcome, most youth in care are never adopted. About 2,000 children in child welfare care are adopted each years, while at least 61,104 children and youth were in out-of-home care in Canada in 2022. Reducing barriers to male same-gender parents could help connect more children with stable, supportive homes.
The gap between formal equality and unequal access raises an important question: What does it really take to make gay fatherhood truly accessible? If access depends on income, free time and the ability to navigate complex systems, equality in law is not equality in practice.
There are practical ways to reduce these barriers. Governments could expand tax credits and other financial supports for adoption and surrogacy, standardize fertility coverage across provinces and reduce administrative hurdles.
Insurance companies could cover prospective parents whose costly journey through IVF may produce no viable embryos or pregnancies. Governments and social services can improve information and support so prospective queer parents do not need to research how to navigate these pathways alone. Medical services, insurance companies and law firms can also update policies to better recognize diverse families.
Read more: 7 tips for LGBTQ parents to help schools fight stigma and ignorance
Legal recognition is only the beginning
Since 2005, Canada has made progress in recognizing the rights of 2SLGBTQI+ families. But recognition is not the same as access.
For many gay men, building a two-father family still requires navigating pathways that are complex, uncertain and costly. The significantly lower rates of gay fatherhood, compared with lesbian and heterosexual parenthood, suggest the cumulative effect of these barriers.
If policymakers are serious about supporting 2SLGBTQI+ families, this disparity should be treated as a policy problem. Until these barriers are addressed, Canada cannot claim that parenthood is accessible to all.
S. W. Underwood receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada.














